


I'll be the one to collect all the stars in your heart

by mav



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Dark Side Rey, Eventual Romance, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gray Jedi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-16 19:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13060476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mav/pseuds/mav
Summary: Rey decides that the only way to bring Ben Solo back from the darkness is to fulfill both their visions of the future.





	1. Chapter 1

 

_when you think the spell is broken_  
_when you think the magic's gone_  
_I'll be the one to collect all the stars in your heart again_

 

* * *

 

Rey is standing on the stark, sterile bay of the ship's hangar. She's been inside of a First Order Star Destroyer before, but the situation had been different - her posture an angry hunch, her hands cuffed, defiance gleaming in her eyes.

Now, she is stiff and still as the finely pressed uniforms around her, hands clasped behind her back. Her gaze is steely, though she has willed her face to remain expressionless. It's against everything she knows, and it takes a concentrated effort to not shake with rage.

She can feel the soldiers sizing her up, and she looks past them. It's as if they are insects to her. Hatred is thrumming in her ears, and she can feel General Hux's sneering contempt from across the room.

Six armored figures escort in a tall man who many have been naming as the new Emperor, reviving the antiquated terminology of the previous regime.

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

_Ben Solo._

At the sight of him, maintaining her composure becomes more difficult, but she manages. Though Kylo no longer wears a mask, his cold, dark eyes are as blank as the depths of space. 

His gaze flicks over her once, noting the tight bodice and trailing fabrics of her black garment, gleaming with intricate beading. A spot of crimson fills her lips, and a new lightsaber is affixed to her waist, its silver handle in stark contrast to the ensemble.

Their eyes meet. There is no raw emotion, none of the pain and vulnerability they had seen in each other before.

Only two warriors, meeting in a treaty of peace. One concession of power to another.

He holds his hand out to hers, and she takes it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Two weeks earlier..._

Thunder cracked through the skies of Yavin 4, a frequent event on the rainforest planet. The Resistance had set up base in an abandoned Jedi temple, the Millennium Falcon parked nearby.

Rey didn't need the Force to guess what the people she cared about were doing. Rose had taught Finn how to do simple mechanical repairs, and in return he'd spent the last few days coaching her on blaster accuracy. She'd spotted them earlier that day in a makeshift blaster range, gripping each other in laughter. Their carefree nature had warmed Rey's heart, even as she felt isolated from it. They hadn't noticed when she'd slipped away.

General Leia Organa and Poe Dameron were inside the base, poring over star maps and debating strategy, with the General smiling in her fond, motherly way. Chewbacca was in the Falcon, trying to figure out what to do with the porg family who'd taken up roost inside, chewing the seat cushions - Rey had suggested eating them, but he was more reluctant than she'd have thought.

Artoo had just recently met Beebee, and the two of them had been terrorizing Threepio lately with their reckless antics. Just that week, she had spotted Beebee climbing the stone walls of an ancient temple with his bungee cables, at Artoo's whirring suggestion! The anxious protocol droid was probably lecturing both of them, and berating Artoo for being a negative influence on children.

Rey herself was sitting cross-legged in a grassy clearing, some distance off from the others. She didn't relish the solitude, but she was used to it, and she had found that she could feel the Force stronger when she did. Now, it hummed around her, weaving through her fingertips and the gargantuan trees shielding her. Alien wildlife trilled and squawked around her, seeking solace from the imminent rainfall. Insects buzzed, leaves rustled - life was everywhere, and in that moment, she felt intrinsically connected to it.

The broken lightsaber lay in the grass before her, neatly cleaved in two pieces. Rey had racked her mind for days now, trying to figure out what to do. How did Jedi normally receive new lightsabers, when there was no one left to teach them? Her first attempts to contact Luke had amounted to nothing. His presence was absent, a part of the farthest reaches of the Force which she could not touch. She knew, with a certainty she couldn't explain, that he would only appear if he wished it.

So, she meditated.

It did not come easily for her. Her focus was scattered, and though she could touch the Force itself, and feel it swirling around her like a river, she didn't know what to ask it, or _how_. So, in between combat drills with her staff, she had made an effort to solving her lightsaber problem, mostly by sending out questions to the void. Would she have to search across the galaxy for a replacement? Was it worth attempting to fix it herself, and risk breaking it further? She had repaired speeders before, but a blade of molten light felt a little outside her wheelhouse.

Either way, _this_ was her problem, and she was determined to fix it. The rest could fall into place when she was armed again. 

Rey's eyes had fluttered shut, deep in concentration, when the sounds of the forest had abruptly silenced. She suspected what was coming next before it happened. 

She opened her eyes, and saw _him_.

As before, his surroundings had been hazy, but as clear as day, she saw Kylo Ren - _Ben_ \- sitting stiffly in a high-backed chair. Whether it was a throne, similar to the one Snoke had commanded, or merely situated in a meeting room, she could not immediately tell, but it was clear that he was watching something intently across from him.

Dark circles surrounded his deep brown eyes, and his black hair was mussed. He had none of the cold elegance she had seen when he'd met her at her escape pod, despite the fact he was now donning a grand black robe, a crimson cloak wrapped around his broad shoulders. For all the regal bearing he held, right now, he just looked tired. In spite of herself, she felt a twinge of pity. Their was no hatred in the continuation of their Force bond, merely a sense of weary acceptance.  
  
_He chose to become the new Supreme Leader, he could have left the First Order_ , she reminded herself, but it couldn't escape her notice... _He's suffering_.

For a moment, his gaze flicked to hers. A quiet acknowledgment of her presence, nothing more. She had the impression he wanted her gone.

"I don't want this either," she retorted.

She could hear a vague, fuzzy murmur in the distance, and perked up with some interest. "Someone's talking to you." She got up from the grass, stepping forward. It was a futile gesture, but as she willed her mind closer to hers, she felt herself approach him, wherever he was.

 _I have to be careful_ , Rey realized, dimly. She couldn't allow herself to appear in the middle of a First Order battle cruiser, like Ben had on the island.

She felt as if she had hit a sudden snag, like a wall erupting between them, but she waved it off. It now felt as though she were wading through wet sand as she approached him. Rey couldn't help but feel a touch offended. He had been the one to relish this bond, to eagerly search its limits, and now he had the nerve to attempt to push her away?

As she pressed forward, she heard the speaking voices around him far clearer. A clipped, Imperial accent was droning in the distance. As she focused, she began to pick up stray words - _Resistance base_ , _the General_ , _tracking scan, at least two hundred members_.

"You're afraid I'll learn something." She peered back at him in wonder, while he stared past her, his lips drawn in a hard line. She could sense his twinge of annoyance, and nearly laughed. Even with the anger and hurt she had been nursing from the moment she had shut the Falcon door in his face, a part of her realized she had missed this. If he wouldn't truly open up to her anymore, then she had earned this, in some regard.

Soon, it was as if she stood next to him. The hairs on her arms stood on end as she leaned over his shoulder. A shudder passed over his body, and he suddenly stood up from his seat, startling her into jolting away. Would she have been able to feel the stiff material of his Sith raiment if she hadn't moved back?

"This meeting is adjourned," he stated tersely, his deep purr of a voice echoing beyond her. He exited the room, his boots thudding on a hard metal ship bay.

As Rey followed him, she attempted to peer back behind them, through the haze, at whoever he had been with. She could vaguely discern a group of figures, but they were gone in a flash, as if shrouded in mist. Whoever these people had been, would she have been able to see them if they weren't Force sensitive?

She successfully followed him back to what must be his quarters, and he whirled around the moment he had any privacy, cloak billowing around him. "Snoke is dead. Shouldn't you be gone?"

Irritation pricked her, and Rey scowled up at him. "You know I have no control over this."

He frowned, turning away, and leaning against what was presumably his bunk with a sigh. "I thought these were... Aftershocks. That they would go away soon."

They had continued to catch glimpses of one another in the ten days it had been since the Battle of Crait ended, often a handful of times each day, but they had coldly ignored each other, pretending nothing was going on. Rey's brow creased, and she said nothing. It was clear to both of them that this strange connection wasn't going anywhere.

He continued. "...But they aren't. It should hardly surprise me at this point that he lied." He sounded hollow, exhausted. Rey watched him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"You look ill," she said bluntly.

He glowered back at her. "I've been busy."

"I can tell."

They met each other's gaze for a moment, willing the other to look away.

Through gritted teeth, he said, "If you're not willing to have an actual conversation, then there's no point in this."

"The same goes for you... But when you're ready to talk, I'll listen."

"We're on the same side, and once you realize this-" He cut off abruptly, frustration evident in his eyes. They were still at a stalemate. She watched him disappear with a heavy sense of remorse.

_I should hate him. I should be furious with him._

Rey now stood in the middle of a clearing on Yavin 4, rain pelting her hair. She knew, with a great resolve, that she couldn't hate him. He was right. They were on the same side. She had seen within him, and he her, and they understood what the other was going through better than everyone. She just had to guide him down the right path...

 _They think we have two hundred members_ , she realized. What a joke. At that moment, the Resistance scarcely had thirty bodies defending their base, and half of them were injured. Shoving the broken lightsaber parts back in her pack, she walked back to the temple.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey sat on a stone bench inside of the dilapidated Jedi temple, squeezing rainwater out of her vest. She continued to mull over the information she had received. When she had first recognized the Force bond between herself and Kylo Ren, she had just wanted him to go away. Then, she wanted answers. Was it right to now exploit the bond for intel?

_Of course it is._ As much pity as she had for lost Ben Solo, the First Order would spread a reign of cruelty across the galaxy if they were left unchecked.

There was a chasm in her mind between the pained man and the empire he now commanded. Even as he had seized control of his dead mentor's legacy, it had felt unreal. How could the wounded boy who'd shared her search for belonging allow himself to be twisted into exactly what Snoke would have wanted? She had been so sure he had only wanted as escape...

Rey's brow furrowed. She had been doing her best to not think about Ben right now, but that was easier said than done when she couldn't keep his face from her mind.

She was being _haunted_.

There was now a puddle on the rock tiles beneath her dampened vest. Across the great hall, there were looming carvings, vague swirls of light and darkness, representing the teachings of the Jedi order.

Rey peered up at them, as she had many times by now, trying to gain some meaning out of them - but as far as art went, it was meaningless to her. Lazy interlocking circles, winding trails of wind or water, the clay paint long chipped and faded, leaving a colorless mass in its wake.

She nearly jumped when an ancient stone door creaked open nearby.

The stern, petite Lieutenant Connix stepped out, trailed by the General in a draping purple shawl. Connix was gesturing at a holopad, in the middle of a debriefing session.

"We've been able to contact the base back on Kashyyyk, but they're going to need to do a supply run before they can get to us. I'll keep you posted."

Leia nodded, her elaborate updo the very picture of refinement. "Thank you, Lieutenant." As they passed Rey, Leia glanced down, narrowing her eyes. "Don't you have a change of clothes?"

Rey shrugged, sheepish. "Yes. They're wet, too."

Connix gave a slight, amused smile as Leia sighed, gesturing for Rey to follow her. "Come along."

Rey stood up, giving her vest a final shake. The Lieutenant returned to her post in one of the many rooms of worship, and Leia led Rey down to the priory the Resistance had been using as their barracks. She pulled open a nearby trunk, businesslike and brisk.

Rey peered over, curiously, as she rummaged through an assortment of gowns and cloaks, most of which were either white or black. "Where did those come from?"

"Ceremonial garb, back from when the temple was open."

"But some of those look..." She trailed off, unsure.

Leia arched a brow. "Black, morose, and like they belong in a Sith lord's closet? I know. I have a theory that some of their festivals must have had participants representing both sides of the Force. Or perhaps they didn't strictly color code their morality. Luke always liked wearing black, you know." A moment of uneasy silence settled over them. The two of them had both felt Luke pass on shortly after his confrontation on Crait. It had been as if a vast, yawning void had pulled at the Force, only to quickly be filled with a burst of energy.

Somehow, Rey knew it had been peaceful, and that he had embraced the end with a sense of relief. If Leia were half as intuitive as she thought, she knew she had felt the same. However, it had been difficult to look her in the eye. She had suffered so much loss, and though the General remained wry and stoic, it must have been yet another blow to lose her brother.

Finally, Leia spoke.

"Thank you for finding him."

Rey swallowed hard. Her last conversation with the old master had been punctuated with lightsaber blows, as she had been struck with the knowledge that he'd failed Ben, but even she had felt the momentous blow of his light snuffing out. It seemed to be the end of an era. The last Jedi.

"I barely even had a chance to know him," she admitted. _He wasn't what I expected_. Maybe there were no wise elders who could guide your way. Wherever her fate would lead, she couldn't rely on teachings or scrolls. Just herself.

The thought was terrifying.

Leia said nothing, putting out a simple brown tunic and leggings. "Here we are." They looked as though they must be for training.

Rey took them, shooting Leia a grateful smile. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it, kid." With a pained sigh, Leia rose to her feet. There was a strength in the brittle old woman, a fire that had kept true, marking her as one of the last heroes of the Rebellion. "Don't forget to take care of yourself. I know it's tempting to abandon your worldly comforts on your grand spiritual quest, but you're still a person." Her lip quirked, sardonically.

Rey nodded, and Leia brushed off her voluminous skirts, turning to leave. "General Organa-" She looked back. "Luke had another lightsaber, didn't he? After he lost the first one?"

Leia paused, thoughtful. "He did. At this point, I'm not sure where it is, but it must be still out there."

It was the last thing Rey wanted to look for. Picturing its light shining on his student's face the night of the massacre gave her an instant rush of nausea. "How did he get it?"

"He built it himself."

Rey gawked at her. _Alone?_

"All the Jedi did," Leia continued. "From what I've heard, it's not hard, once you find a kyber crystal to channel the energy. If I'd ever had any need for swinging a blade at anyone, I would have done it myself, but it never felt like the right fit." Her smile turned nostalgic. "Reach out to the Force, Rey. Don't overthink it. You'll be armed again in no time."

There was more to be said, with the shadow of Ben Solo looming over both of them, but it was left hanging in the air as the general departed.

\---

Rey awoke late in the night, overwhelmed with the realization she wasn't alone.

Her room was scarcely larger than a cell, containing only a sparse cot intended for teaching a Padawan humility, but Rey had never known a soft bed, so it suited her just fine. She pushed back her bantha wool blanket, sitting upright.

_He_ was sitting up in bed, staring back at her.

"Couldn't sleep?" Her words had more an edge to them than she had intended. She blinked, groggily, and registered that he was shirtless again. A flush crept over her face, and she averted her eyes. Fortunately, his own sleek black sheets obscured most of it, his heavily muscled arms crossed over his chest.

He ignored her mocking question. "Could you sense I was here?"

"Yes." After a moment's pause, she asked, "How long have you been here?"

"Not long." His answer was short and businesslike. As if it were purely a professional curiosity that they were both encountering one another in bed.

There was an awkward pause, and although Rey was still wearing the training tunic from earlier, she pulled up her sheets self-consciously. There was an unnerving intimacy in all this.

When she had seen Kylo Ren remove his mask for the first time, he seemed impossible to understand. A monster in the guise of a handsome young man. Now, the thought was laughable. There was an agony etched in the set of his features, his hooded eyes turbulent with years of sorrow. She could see his disappointment in her now.

_I'm the one who has a reason to be disappointed_ , she thought, and, straightening her shoulders, returned the stare with a defiant tilt of her chin.

"You should go to bed," she stated.

"So should you."

An impasse. As always. "You look like you need it more." He scoffed, and for a moment she thought he would laugh. She couldn't imagine how it would sound.  There was a silence between them, but not an uncomfortable one - shocking, considering their awkward circumstances.

Biting her lip, she hesitated. It seemed almost like a risk to attempt to learn anything from him at this point, but she did it anyway. He watched her carefully as she spoke. "You made your own lightsaber."

"Yes." There was a nearly imperceptible furrow of his brows.

It made sense, now that she thought about it. A fizzle of raw, crackling energy, split off in multiple directions... Powerful, but unpredictable. It suited him. She mulled over this.

"I could help you."

Her head snapped back up. "You could," she stated simply. "But I'm going to do it myself." She was beginning to feel almost as confident as she sounded.

He gave her a slight nod. Only a short time before, she could have picturing him arguing with her, proclaiming she needed his guidance.

So much had changed between them, and so little, all at once. They were still stars apart, in a Jedi temple and a First Order ship. She had a hundred questions for him, but there was a rift, and it was hard to tell what _could_ be said. His own time in a Jedi temple had ended in pain and ashes. Where was there to go from there?

Finally, she laid back down, rolling over. From here, she couldn't see him anymore, but his presence was still a tangible energy, humming around her.

_I came back for you. I wanted to save you._

She blinked hard, pulling her sheet tighter over herself. He said nothing more, but she continued to feel his presence near her long after she'd fallen asleep.


End file.
